By Baxter Black: Humor Columnist
This is the story of a curious cow who lived on Mr. Marvin’s farm in the kingdom of Kansas. Her name was Yvonne.
She was of Scottish and English heritage but farmer Marv guessed that she had some Native American Pronghorn antelope in her lineage because everyone knows that antelopes are very curious.
Farmer Marv had a great large old-fashioned barn with a second story hay mow, a high pitched roof and a rooster weather vane on the tallest peak. Yvonne was piddling around the barnyard one fine day doing her hooves, trying to find her cuticles and curling her switch.
“How did that rooster get on top of the barn?” she wondered.
“Well,” said Peggy, her best hen friend, “I supposed he walked. He could not fly because the Poultry Protection League made it illegal for us to fly higher than a chicken wire fence.”
“Hmmm,” said Curious Cow as she wandered into the barn, “Let’s see.”
She walked between two old draft horse feed troughs, the milk cow stanchion, the rebuilt tractor and the sacks of protein supplement to a steep set of wooden stairs.
“You can’t go up there!” said friend hen, “because cows can’t hop.”
“I wonder,” mused Yvonne, and she clattered up the steps like a mountain goat!
In the hay mow she explored the store of baled hay, then walked to the open door. Yvonne had never seen the farm from this high up. It was then that Farmer Marv and son Roger came out the kitchen door.
Yvonne saw their mouths make an O! Yvonne and Peggy watched from a safe distance as the men constructed a long ramp out of plywood, old boards, tar paper and drywall screws. They had to set some hefty support posts in the muddy ground.
“What do you think that is for?” wondered Curious Cow.
“Maybe it’s a ski jump for the Kansas Barnyard Olympics,” suggested Peggy.
Peggy was wrong. It took two men, three 8-foot panels, 30 pieces of baler twine, and a plastic whip to push and shove Yvonne to the door, over the edge and down the slope.
When they tossed friend hen out after her, she was heard to say, “I can fly! I can fly! I can fly?”
And that is the story of Curious Cow, which unlike other fairy tales, is true. I saw the video.