By Baxter Black: Humor Columnist
Food for thought:
— Chicken. I only wish it tasted more like chicken.
— Hungry people don’t protest genetically modified foods.
— What is the difference between the people who worked for F.E.M.A. in the wake of Hurricane Katrina vs. the reporters, politicians and movie stars who jostled each other for sound bites?
Answer: F.E.M.A. came to help — the newsmakers came to blame.
— People who don’t at least look at the other person’s point of view are going through life with one eye closed.
— If the Congress passes the bill to outlaw the slaughter of horses, a lot more horse lovers are going to face the practical question, “What do you do with a dead horse?”
— If we have a minimum wage, should America have a maximum wage?
— If CEOs are being paid too much, who gets to decide how much of their own money Bill Gates’ right hand man, Warren Buffet’s broker and Oprah’s boyfriend are allowed to keep?
— Say Hillary Clinton gets nominated for president and selects husband Bill as vice presidential running mate. If she gets elected and then resigns from office, would Bill accede to the third term as president?
— Am I the only one curious how much money Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson pay the paparazzi to keep them on the front page?
— If they were really concerned about gas guzzling SUVs and drilling for oil in the Arctic, shouldn’t environmentally conscious politicians publicly applaud $3 per gallon gasoline as a means to stimulate fuel conservation? Oh, I forgot it’s an election year!
— The pope quoted a medieval text characterizing some of Mohammed’s teachings as evil and inhumane. Radical Muslims reacted by registering a formal complaint with the Vatican and inviting the pope to come to Camp Osama for talks.
— E-coli; as if kids really needed an excuse not to eat spinach.
— A gallon of milk costs $3, a gallon of gasoline costs $2.50. A 9-ounce bottle of water costs a dollar — that’s $8 per gallon. If I had only known, I’d have bought water earlier when it was free and made my first million!
Baxter Black is a self-described cowboy poet, ex-veterinarian and sorry team roper. He can be contacted at 1-800-654-2550 or by e-mail at: