By Karl Terry: PNT Managing Editor
It’s time to rub the old crystal ball, or in my case scratch the top of my balding pate, and make a few prognostications about what’s ahead of us in 2007.
I don’t take this annual duty lightly and readers mustn’t take it seriously.
• With the acquisition this fall of my first set of golf clubs, and Tiger Woods’ inspiration, my golf score will fall to the 70s (for nine holes).
• Hillary Clinton and Bill Richardson will throw their hats into the ring for the Democrats’ presidential nomination. Hillary’s will go in second and completely cover Bill’s sombrero. Our governor will fall all over himself to accept a position as her running mate. But then I’m getting a little ahead of myself; that part won’t happen ‘til 2008 when Bill’s out of money. Hillary and Bill … it has a nice ring doesn’t it.
• Portales City Manager Debi Lee will get a call from Nashville and finally realize her long-held dream of touring with the Dixie Chicks. But before she leaves, the lady known at city hall as the queen of grant writers will author a grant worth enough to pave U.S. 70 through Portales with gold.
• Elvis will be sighted in June at a softball game in Portales. Amazingly, Roosevelt County Jail Administrator Jesse Luera will manage to book not only Elvis (Jail House Rock) Presley but also Johnny (Folsom Prison Blues) Cash as the entertainment for the grand opening of the RCDC jail addition.
• My wife will be the first person to ever run her iPod (a Christmas present) through two cycles of the washer and dryer before ever successfully downloading a podcast.
• The Dallas Cowboys will make it to the Super Bowl in February. Of course they’ll all be watching the game from the private box that Terrell Owen’s enormous salary will finance.
• Lets stay on pro athlete salaries for a minute. Before spring training begins some stupid baseball owner will agree to pay a pitcher more money than his entire franchise has made in the last three seasons. But hope springs eternal and all he really need is a good closer.
• Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan will pioneer a new women’s fashion. Yes the return of old-fashioned women’s bloomers seems a little far-fetched but these gals are the ones who can set that trend.
Hopefully they’ll remember to actually slip those bloomers on before they go out on the town in the new year.
• This prediction is a little foggy but I see President Bush involved in a mountain biking accident or a quail hunting accident. Dick Cheney will ascend to the presidency and the meltdown caused by global warming will be nothing compared to the meltdown Al Gore will experience as Dick makes it to the oval office and Al gets passed over for an Oscar.
• My dog Flint will run away from home and join the circus. His circus name will be Mr. Chips and he’ll be the leader of an act featuring trained chimpanzees and former child actor Kurt Russell. My other dog, Sniggle Fritz, finally rid of the domineering influence of his younger brother, will return to college at Eastern New Mexico University and graduate with honors in the spring.