Driving, reading Bible not feasible

By Kevin Wilson: CNJ staff writer

So, last week, I said I had three ideas that weren’t worth 500 words on their own, but worth 150 each.

I was wrong. I actually had four ideas, and the entire reason I wrote last week was for the idea I forgot to type up. So keep in mind that when in doubt, I’m dumb. Also keep these things in mind:

• If the U.S. Postal Service goes bankrupt, I’m not to blame. I use the services often, and usually lose stamps well before I use the entire book.

And I’ve got another idea that could save it (and a ton of businesses) money. I purchased a stamp the other day, and received a receipt that was 10 inches long. It showed the time I was there, what I purchased, things I can do on the USPS Web site and a way to complain if I wasn’t satisfied with my 44-cent transaction.

Since a dollar is roughly six inches long, I can reason it took about the same amount of material to create a dollar as it would to record a transaction of less than a dollar.

So here’s my idea: Let the customer decline a receipt if the amount is less than $1. Why document a transaction when seeking a refund wouldn’t be worth my time?

• While I’m busy revolutionizing the world, here’s my other idea — smarter car signals. How many times have you driven in front of the guy who’s got the turn signal on for three miles without turning? Or yelled, “Your gas cap’s open” without the driver thinking you’re trying to get their phone number? Or, yes, wanted to admit that you were the idiot driver? Cars need these technologies, or we need to find body language that fills such roles.

• Since I stated collecting Blu-ray movies about a year ago, I’ve had one simple rule. I do my part to not further a film industry intent on double-dipping, so I don’t buy anything on Blu-ray that I already own on the standard DVD format.

This did not, however, include “Iron Man,” which I was watching in its high-definition beauty. And I went to the special features, and the deleted scenes.

High-definition does change some things, but it didn’t change this universal truth about filmmaking — deleted scenes are deleted for a reason.

• Finally, the point I forgot. I was driving through Clovis a few weeks ago and couldn’t miss the religious displays at some of the city’s busiest intersections. I have no problem with people promoting their relgious views— it’s just that passing motorists are not the audience.

As I exited one parking lot, a man had a sign that said, “Can I talk to you about Jesus?” Well, sure … but the thing is, there’s a 2,000-pound thing called a car behind me, and it’s traveling faster than I could run.

And at another intersection, another man held a dry-erase board containing a full Bible verse. I honestly don’t think I’ll be getting into heaven if I said, “You see, I got in that fatal multi-car accident because I was reading the Bible.”

If I let them talk to me about religion, can I talk to them about distracted driving? I think it’s a little too much to answer questions about faith while I’m at the wheel. I’m too busy texting my friend about how good this cheeseburger is.