McGee: LSD not for me

LSD is something I’ve never done or plan to do. It ain’t on my “bucket list.”

I bring this up because I’ve been flipping through the pages of a recent Rolling Stone magazine reading about the life of Steve Jobs, the computer dude, who brought us such goodies as the iPod.

According to the article, Jobs partook of the hallucinogenic drug LSD at various times in his life.

Well I didn’t.

For one thing the stuff was and still is illegal. For another thing, I had been warned not to.

I had been told that if I did I’d see giant 3-foot tall praying mantis’ wearing berets, smoking cigarettes and playing sax and bongos on the hood of my car. I would then “flip out.”

Well, that’s what my high school buddy Catfish told me.

In college I took a course called “Argumentation and Debate.” I wasn’t any good at argumentation or debate so I don’t know why I took the class. Anyway, at semester’s end I received a D-minus-minus-minus-minus. The prof told me it was the lowest passing grade he’d ever given.

“I just want to know,” he said quietly. “Are you doing LSD?”

“Noooooo,” I said. “I just spent a lot of time alone as a child.”

“Good,” he said. “You’re the kind of guy who needs to stay away from it.”

Before I thought to ask him why, he was off down the hall.

It took meeting The Lady of the House to come to understand what people meant when they said it was a good thing I never tried LSD.

“You’re the type of person who embraces possibilities,” she said.

“You might see things and you might think they’re real. You wouldn’t be able to distinguish between the real and the not real. And you might not come back.”

I finally understood.

But I do wonder sometimes what tune those giant praying mantis’ might’ve played.