McGee: Yard art has limits

By Grant McGee

CMI columnist

“Look,” said The Lady of the House. “Those are toilet tank lids by that Dumpster.”

We were picking up our eats at a local fast food joint when the gleaming porcelain rectangles caught her eye.Grant-McGee-Mug350

“Do you want them?” I asked.

“Oh, we must have them,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Among the usual things we do around town, The Lady of the House and I keep our eyes open for what we think would make good yard art.

Yard art is anything that can survive our New Mexico heat, wind and cold. Our goal is to cover the front yard. We figure it’ll cut down on weeds and lower the water bill.

Things that have made it from yard sales to the front of our house include paving stones, old pots, broken shovels, an old bicycle, even large stuffed animals and a wooden moose. And The Lady of the House’s most prized yard art: Two pink flamingoes.

I could envision the toilet tank lids in our front yard, artistically placed as paving stones amongst the vines of Virginia Creeper.

My thoughts continued with ideas of old toilets strategically placed in the front yard with ivy growing from the bowls, white-washed tires overflowing with flowers, even a bird bath made of cinderblocks topped with an upside-down trash can lid … the possibilities were endless.

With newfound enthusiasm I pulled the car over.

“What are you doing?” asked The Lady of the House.

“I’m getting the toilet tank tops,” I said.

“I was being sarcastic,” said The Lady of the House. “I thought you knew.”

“But…”

“And there will be no toilets or white-washed car tires in the front yard,” she said. “Or half-buried bathtubs.”

“At least we have pink flamingos,” I said as I put the car in gear and drove home.

 

Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road of life. Contact him at: bikedude@plateautel.net.

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