I file this column knowing this might be the most least-read thing I do all year. It’s like when Rick Reilly wrote the column on the back page of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. I could write a cure for cancer, and nobody would catch it.
Still, we forge ahead. Today I present not a full column of one coherent thought, but a stocking full of smaller ones. Warning: You might not get coherent thoughts the rest of the year either.
• New Christmas tradition: Leave a package for those who bring a package.
You know how you take a few days off because it’s the holidays. Our package delivery people, wherever they’re employed, have triple the work because it is the holidays. That makes it tougher to guess when they’ll redeliver because they missed you the first time.
You don’t have to go all out to let them know they’re appreciated for delivering your Christmas cheer. Maybe a few baggies of popcorn or peanut brittle by the door is a good thing.
• It’s important to understand people, and what they tell you when they think they’re telling you something else. Case in point, A&E’s suspension of “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson for an interview with GQ magazine where he shared his thoughts on homosexuality and racism.
Defenders of Robertson have been going crazy, saying Robertson’s First Amendment rights were violated.
Read the interview and ask yourself, “Did anybody from the government prevent Phil Robertson from saying exactly what he wanted?” That’s where the First Amendment ends. It doesn’t protect your job, and it doesn’t shield you from other people’s speech. I think people know that.
A lot of the people who didn’t want Phil Robertson suspended cheered when Martin Bashir was forced out for saying something inappropriate at MSNBC and didn’t care when a public relations employee made national news and lost her job for making a joke about AIDS on Twitter. The inconsistency tells me that while they say they’re mad about free speech, they’re really mad because something they like was interfered with.
• New Christmas tradition: Don’t tell other people their Christmas tradition is terrible.
I wrote this last week in poem form, but thought it worth repeating: My friend Drake gave me the best advice about any holiday. The advice was that it’s your holiday, and nobody can tell you how to do your holiday but you.
If you want to wait until Dec. 26 to have the full celebration because a family member can’t make it there in time, that’s your holiday.
If you and a friend decide to do a “Springmas” and defer gift-giving to March to avoid debt and have a better idea what you want, that’s your holiday.
If you watch “Love Actually,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” that’s your holiday. If you watch “The Ref,” “Scrooged” and “Die Hard,” that’s your holiday.
The worst thing you can tell somebody is, “That sounds like a terrible holiday,” even if they have to spend it across the country from family or they have to work. The better action is to find out how you could make that holiday better, and do it.
There’s your stocking. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Clovis Media Inc. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 313, or by email: